An Iridescent Potato

literaryreference:

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

joyfulldreams:

inuysha-link-lover:

algrenion:

i think there should be AU’s and then there should be UA’s

because Universe Alterations would be a good name for when your characters are in the exact same universe but you’re altering just a couple of plot points or a few character traits

EVERYONE WE ALL NEED TO MAKE THIS A THING

GOD THIS WOULD MAKE SHIT SO MUCH EASIER

EVERYONE PLEASE SPREAD THIS AROUND AND MAKE IT A THING

(via samonsterx)

hiddlesbatchlove:

lokis-taking-gallifrey:

cantgeddynuffofdatass:

wouldulikeajellybaby:

 

THIS MADE ME START HYPERVENTILATING which is really ironic

that was fucking terrifying

your tension has been exterminated

EXTERMINATED

(Source: deduce-you-fools, via i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)

castlecoffee13:

sherlock-holmes-bbc-series:

oliveswind:

unseenandoutofsight:

it-am-i:

John Watson: The interpreter

Do you even realize that it was in this exact moment when Moriarty knew he needed to kidnap John to get to Sherlock?

HOLY MOLY ! MIND = BLOWN.

At first I thought that was really cool and then feels hit. 

(Source: always---summer, via i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)

twoandtwentyonebee:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”

lies down

weeps

(via manyrelish)

therockofkuthian:

and-she-was-a-child:

alphalewolf:

Chris Evans was cast as both The Human Torch and Captain America because of reasons.

but look at how different he is in both of those gifs. and i don’t mean the suit and the haircut. his whole walk is different. he’s so cocky and full of swagger in the first one. you can just tell he thinks he’s the shit. i, personally, find it kind of repellant. i don’t find anything about him attractive in the first gif. but in the second gif, he’s solid and straight. he’s a soldier. there’s so much purpose in his stride. makes me want to pounce on him. 

totally just noticed Chris is the human torch too.

shows how much I like fantastic four.

It took me so long to figure out that Chris played both these characters because he is such an incredible actor. He played Johnny, the man who got kicked out of NASA for smuggling in two underwear models and then crashing a stationary flight simulator, and then he played Steve, the biggest virgin to ever virgin, and he played both characters perfectly.

(via i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)

immawearitasaworm-stache:

jonnaspn:

son-of-an-assbutt:

fezzingly:

#if this isn’t scientific proof that misha is a kitten then i don’t know what is

# THIS POST IS RIDICULOUSLY CUTE

From cute to serious. 

Omg I can’t cope with this

(via i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman)

(Source: youtube.com, via samonsterx)

ellierratic:

tardiscrash:

Iron Man has defeated the Mandarin.

I tried to ignore this post but dammit, I just couldn’t do it.

(via samonsterx)

ohgoditsafurry:

foervraengd:

Okay so I followed this video about foreshortening and…

Sycra. I love you so much for making this video.

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING SHITTING ME

(via samonsterx)